STDs: the new Ipod?

Remember learning about VD and STDs in your sex-ed classes and assemblies in Middle School? No? Maybe you didn't need to- maybe you have your own STD! After all, if you have an iPod, there is a good chance you have an STD, otherwise known as a SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE.
I remember looking around at the gym last year and realizing that every young person, it seemed, had an iPod. It seemed like I was the only decrepit old dude on the treadmill with knee-high socks and a "Walkman." Then I checked out an iPod in the store, and thought it was cool. Then someone gave me one as a surprise, even though I hadn't asked for one. Now I've had one for awhile, and it seems that I can't remember a time when EVERYONE didn't have an iPod. When I meet someone, especially someone under 30, who does not have an iPod, I feel like I am meeting a rare and endangered creature for the first time.
Guess what: SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES are just like iPods, I think. They are cool again; cooler than ever. Everyone is getting one, and most people are getting them as a present from someone else- for free! Soon, you might have a hard time finding a young person who does not have an STD!
A recent massive survey showed that close to 25% of girls between 19 and 25 ALREADY HAVE an STD. Why did they survey girls? I'm not sure, but I think it's because girls more often have symptoms with certain STDs and therefore MAY be more likely to actually know it when they have an STD. Furthermore, surveys like this rely on people responding to the survey, and being honest, so they tend to UNDERESTIMATE the true percentage of people wiht STDs. In my practice (which is just a small sample), a good estimate is that between 30 and 40% of men AND women 30 and under HAVE AN STD.
So what is an STD? It's an infection, acute or chronic, with one of the following organisms:
1. HIV
2. Syphilis
3. Human Papilloma Virus or HPV
4. Gonorrhea
5. Chlamydia
6. Genital herpes or HSV
7. Trichomonas urethritis
8. Some doctors consider Hepatitis B to be an STD. I don't, and it's not counted in the above percentages.

HOW DO I FIND OUT IF I HAVE AN STD?
Don't rely on Dr. Tofuhead- see your own doctor. You can be reliably tested for most of the diseases above, and what's scary is that most of them have an "asymptomatic carrier state," in which you can have AND transmit the disease without knowing it!

HOW DO I PROTECT MYSELF FROM STDs?
1. Fewer partners=less chance of getting, or having, an STD. Bummer, right? This is not a moral argument, there is actually a direct, proven statistical correlation between the number of sexual partners someone has had, and their chances of having an STD. So be like George Michael: have FAITH in monogamy and give it a try. (OK, maybe that was a bad example.)
2. Condoms. No one loves them, and they are as dull as a Walkman. But some old technologies just work, and this is one of them. They are thinner and stronger than ever, plus like iPods they come in all sizes, colors, and flavors. They CAN protect you from EVERY ONE of the STDs listed above.
3. Get tested, for any STD, as often as you want. No doctor in their right mind would deny you this. The bad news is that there is no reliable test for HPV in men, and for women you need a full pap sample to run an STD test. If your doctor works at an academic medical center, he or she may have access to some newer HPV testing techniques.

So much for your health education of the day! Later: Food of the Day