THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE: THE FRENCH ARE HEALTHIER

    Well, I finally got some hard data and the truth hurts: despite smoking more, drinking more alcohol, and eating fattier food than Americans, the French actually do live longer than we do.   Life expectancy in France is a full 3 years more than it is in America.  That may not sound like much, but when you look at the full spectrum of countries, it turns out that France has a longer life expectancy than the vast majority of European countries; moreover, the U.S. has a shorter life expectancy than ANY European country, with the exception of Ireland and Denmark.  Even (gasp) Bosnians live longer than Americans do.  So rather than asking, "why do the French live longer than we do?" you might ask "why do Europeans live longer than we do?"

      I have no frickin idea, to tell you the truth.   I have only been to the Netherlands, Ireland, England, Greece, and now France.   I can understand why Greeks live longer than we do- I have never seen so much salad and fresh seafood consumed as I did when I hung out in Greece.   Moreover, Greeks seemed to be chronically happy and relaxed most of the time.   But the French are an enigma.   They seem to suck down cigarettes the way Greeks suck down salad.   They eat meat in more varieties than I thought possible.  They seem to start consuming alcohol with gusto around noon.   Is it the carbs?   No.  Consuming a baguette a day (made with white, processed flour) is the norm among the French, and that's after they have enjoyed croissants and various pastries all morning.  

       So why, in fact, do French people live longer than Americans?  Here are my leading theories:

1. The French are not as fat as Americans.   

2. They walk more.   At least in Paris, if you can't walk well you are fairly hosed, because driving a car is supremely difficult and parking a car is impossible.

3. They work less.   This assumes, of course, that work is not healthy, which I'm not sure has really been proven.  But French people seem to take very long lunches and go home early.  Sounds at least mentally healthy.

4. French people clearly eat more fruit than Americans.   Fruit is everywhere.   The crappiest theatre or museum snack bar or coffee-cart in France sells little fruit salads, and all over Paris people are eating their fruit.   I can't remember the last time I saw an American pay to eat fruit in a restaurant.   

5. Flies must carry some essential nutrient.   I say this because in Paris, much food is sold in open-air markets and all the food has flies landing on it.  In all seriousness, the cheese shops all have open doors and the cheese has flies just relaxing on it.     In fact, the more expensive the cheese in Paris, the more flies there are walking around on that cheese.   It would be impossible to get a good piece of meat, fish, or cheese in Paris without flies being on it at the time of purchase.   One can only conclude that flies somehow improve the quality, or health value, of the food in France.

      Obviously, none of these theories are very satisfactory.   If you have your own theory, feel free to let me know.   In the meantime, I'm going to start eating moldier cheese and trying to encourage more flies to land on in.